Flesh for fantasy.

How much do I love New York Times food critic Frank Bruni? Only an out gay man could write a believable review of going to the Penthouse Executive Club for the steaks. (And apparently they're damn good.)

Adding a little spice.

I've mentioned before that I grew up at a time and in a place where the unadventurous palates of my family members were not unduly challenged. My mother had a cabinet full of spices, but the only ones she used regularly were cinnamon (on cinnamon toast), oregano (in spaghetti sauce, to which she added sugar), garlic powder (used very sparingly), and bay leaf (for beef stew, of course). I'm fairly certain that some of the small square tins on the spice shelf haven't been touched more than twice since her wedding day in 1965; she's not one to throw anything unused away. As a result, I grew up believing that spices were meant to be used sparingly and intended to last forever.

I grew up to be heavy-handed with garlic and basil, shockingly free with cumin and cayenne, downright promiscuous in my use of rosemary and coriander. I use more spices than my mother did, and use them up more frequently. Nonetheless, I seem to have inherited her habit of not replacing anything until I was all out -- and so I'm embarrassed to admit just how recently I realized that I too have a collection of dusty, ancient containers full of dusty, ancient spices. My whole cinnamon sticks bear the label of a brand I haven't bought in at least two years. My ground cloves have a price tag from Star Market, a supermarket chain in the city I left in 1999. My supply of marjoram? Let's just say I bought it when I was stocking my first post-college kitchen and leave it at that.

So this week, I'm throwing out any spices I didn't buy in the last 12 months and making a list of what needs to be replaced. I'm also planning to buy a spice rack to replace the mishmash of mismatched tins, jars, and baggies full of mystery spices. And in that rack will be bottles with lids I can mark with a freezer pencil, so I can date the spices inside. And things will taste the way they should. Amen.